Adventures in Spray Tanning

With THE wedding just a few short weeks away, I’ve decided it’s time to start working on a beauty routine.

I want flawless skin, toned arms, shiny hair, white teeth, hairless pits and a TAN. With a little effort, several of these things are within my reach (sorry arms…you’re about as toned as you’re gonna get at this point), and I tackled the TAN this weekend.

I am naturally quite pale and I don’t really spend much time in the sun. I think I saw the ocean once this entire summer. So it’s time to resort to sunless methods. You cannot pay me enough to step foot in a tanning bed coffin of doom, so that really leaves two options: buy a tanning lotion or get a spray tan (or be pale…not an option).

Notice how I blend in with the white walls.

Personally, when I think of spray tanning I think of the little human dolls on Toddlers and Tiaras. I think they look rather freakish with dark tans, hence the reason I’ve avoided the method for so long. But I’ve heard some good things about spray tanning as well, so I decided to give it a whirl.

I arrived at the salon early Saturday morning. Brian’s cousin informed me that I’d need to “let the tan sit” for about 8 hours before showering. This didn’t quite work out with our schedule for the day, so I ended up showering after only 4 hours (I’ll get to that in a moment). The tanner-lady took me to a back room (where they do massages and waxings) and asked me what I was going to wear to be sprayed in. I was like ummmm what do you mean? And she told me I could go naked or wear my thong.

I opted for thong. So I dropped trow, immediately froze, and waited for her to return. She instructed me to stand still and then whipped out this little tan gun thing (I am literally only in a thong at this point…hello boobs). The spray itself was rather cold, but the process went by so quickly I hardly noticed. She sprayed the gun all over my body and I was INSTANTLY dark. You can’t choose a darkness, so I was stuck with the standard color.

When all was said and done I was super happy with my body. No tan lines (except for the thong) and a nice tan glow. However, my face looked all sorts of scary. Like ORANGE scary. I wear SPF on my face every single day, so I’m slightly more pale there than the rest of my body. Brian’s cousin was also freakishly orange in the face, so we washed off most of it when we got home.

Behold:

I'm scared of myself.

And this was after I washed a lot of it off. SCARY!!

With a little scrubbing I’m back to normal, thank goodness. My palms are still weirdly tan, but I am happy with everything else. I think my body looks totally natural! Now I just need to figure out exactly if/when I will get another one before the wedding. I think I’ll cry if fake tan drips onto my dress…

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Posted on October 3, 2011, in Beauty. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Really Appreciate this article, can I set it up so I get an alert email every time you publish a new article?

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